35 or so ways to avoid rape
Who will you help? This video needs to be passed around. When you do nothing you help him. When you do something you help her!
My court appearance in 2009
In 2009 I was summoned to give evidence in court. One of my female clients had been sexually assaulted. She did exactly what I told her to do. She put her arms around her assailant's neck and bit it. She then elbowed his jaw breaking it. She then kneed his groin breaking it and crushed one of his testicles. However in doing so she got to safety.
She was charged with Grievous Bodily Harm. Partly on the basis of my evidence, she was acquitted in court. I told the judge that I made no apology for what I taught this woman. I’ve done it before and I will do it again. The judge was very critical of the powers that be in charging her with this crime. His own words were “She was about to be raped. What did you expect her to do?”
The full range of anti-rape methods and self-defence is beyond the scope of this newsletter. I urge everyone on this planet to learn a martial art. They are all good. However, make sure you learn a full-contact martial art. Anyone competent in a full-contact martial art is very dangerous.
If you see any form of unwanted sexual advances on women report it. Please see video 1. When I lived in University Halls of residence I saw one guy show naked photos of his girlfriend (taken without her consent.) Needless tosay I dealt with it. When I was a research medical student at the University of Sheffield I was approached about one case. A consultant raped a medical student and told her that if she reported it he’d have her failed and woldnever qualify. Fortunately, there was CCTV coverage.
I want every woman to be able to protect herself like this lady
Everybody needs to learn a martial art- see the 2nd video. Everyone should be able to do what this lady did.. They are all good-they all have something going for them. However, I would always advise learning a full-contact martial art. Anyone who is competent at a full-contact martial art is very dangerous. No martial art is perfect- it just gives you a better chance. However martial artists will do their utmost to avoid a situation
Interviews with rapists
A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victimand here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for womenwho’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to
worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh — HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behaviour, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….
I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will besome, where you will go “hmm I must remember that” After reading,forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN
THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you! u are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
I’d like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
I would encourage every woman to use these.
I would like to see more women using these.
Something my Dad taught me
Always let her initiate sexual contact. Remember in public you only touch a woman in one place- her hands. You do not put your arm around her unless she puts her arms around you first.
Remember no means no.
My own hints
If you are sexually assaulted put your arms around your assailants neck as if you are about to kiss and then bit their nose- if need be bite it off! It is very easy for the police to find someone with a bite mark on their nose. However this does carry the small risk of spread of disease. I have the utmost respect and admiration for the lady in this video who bit her assailant’s tongue off!
If someone puts their hand on your knee then simply put one hand on theirs, grab the little finger and yank it up. Its so painful they will go away.
If your assailant is male ask him if you can go down on him, undo his trousers and bite his scrotum or member. It's so painful he’ll be disorientated for a few minutes- enough time to getaway.
Keep an aerosol spray with you and a cigarette lighter-if anyone tries anything-spray them and light it. Trust me-being burned will put your assailant off.
Always stay visible. Make sure you wear reflective gear on you.
When you walk home at night walk opposing the traffic. It makes it hard for a driver to sneak behind you and kidnap you.
If you are put into the trunk of a car, kick out at the tail lights. Then wave outside.
Always carry a whistle and on any suspicion run away and blow hard. They make a lot of noise and attract attention. Any of my female clients will tell you I insist on them carrying a whistle.
Be confident. A bully or assailant is always put off by someone who is confident.
Keep in a group. There is a lot to be said about safety in numbers.
Learn self defence
This is not to be confused with learning a martial art. Self defence is divided into three sections: Evasion, Verbal and Physical. Evasion is the most important. It never ceases to amaze me at how stupid people are with their own security. Let me give you a few examples.
Whenever I do leaflet drops I am astounded at how many people leave their doors open. Some even leave their keys in their doors. All it takes is for someone to get a biro pen, take the nib out, put it through, turn the key-no forced entry.
I once saw someone go to a cash machine, he left his baby in the car, the doors were unlocked and he left his keys in the ignition. It would have been so easy to kidnap the baby.
I once had a housemate who left the back door unlocked even though she was in the living room. She didn’t understand. She kept saying “nothing has ever happened.” One day just to prove a point I waited when she was at home. I looked through the window, she went to the bathroom. I went in, took her purse and then went out again. I came back half an hour later- she was distraught. I gave her the purse back. She learned her lesson.
It’s largely about common sense. For example, if you are walking on a road at night. Walk on the side of the road opposing the traffic. That way no car can sneak up on you from behind.
By taking precautions you never know how many assaults you can prevent. It only needs to occur once. Its not what they take-it’s what they leave behind.
Going on a date
If you are going on a date- meet in a public place-make sure a friend can keep an eye on you. As what happened to a friend of mine. She met a man online and agreed to go on a restaurant date. Now, this lady does not drink. I decided to go along and keep an eye on things. It’s a good thing I did. She went to the ladies powder room. Anyway I noticed this guy bought her a blue wkd (an alcoholic drink which is blue.) He dropped a tablet in it. I knew what it was- rohypnol- a date rape drug which on coming into contact with water turns blue.
On coming back he insisted she drank it but by this time I got the waiter to get my friend to come to me and he guarded her. The guy tried to get away but as he did I put my hand on his shoulder and I told him he wasn’t going anywhere. The police were called and I told them to take the drink and get it sent to forensics. I gave them a copy of my flip cam video footage of him putting the tablet in her drink. I believe he’s still in jail.
One night stands
If you have a one night stand with someone-always go back to your place.
Another former housemate and I went on a night out. She pulled this man and said she was going back to his place. I said it is no problem to bring him back to our place for her safety. Anyway, within the hour I got a phone call. This lady was in the bathroom of her man for the night. He wanted to perform strangulation sex (where you have sex and strangle. It can kill.)
Anyway, she didn’t have an address. Luckily in the bathroom bin there were a few bills and she gave me the address. I made my way there and on arrival I put a brick through the window and let myself in. The guy came downstairs threatening me. I had a baseball bat and I told him to let my housemate go. He came at me and I gave him a pasting. I called to her, she came down and I took her home.
For some reason, he never pressed charges against me.
In conclusion we must have zero tolerance for rape in our society. However that*must* be balanced by a fair trial for the accused. Everybody needs to learn self defence and a martial art.
1 Ontario Women’s Directorate/Government of Ontario #1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NmAIL7ak7U
2 Every woman needs to be able to defend herself like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2wCsgPvL9s
3 Through a Rapist’s Eyes http://www.ripleycounty.com/sheriff/rape.htm
4 Revolutionary nail polish could detect date rape drug https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMylamh8VxU
5 This Special Clothing was Designed For Preventing Sexual Assaults https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMawd_9cJQk
6 Woman Bites Off Attacker’s Tongue | This Morning https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP1AjTeHPOs