I speak today as someone who has had more one night stands than I care to count and in my capacity as a personal trainer who specializes in women’s fitness and women’s self-defence.
The media goes a long way to demonstrate that one night stands are cool-however they can turn sour very quickly.
Let’s make a few assumptions. Let’s assume you are in a bar or a nightclub and some guy has taken your fancy you fancy a bit of action Let me give you some hints to ensure that your night of passion is safe.
Let’s assume your date for the night has succeeded in the mission to have sex with you. Let me give you some hints for you to be safe.
Firstly ensure that you are sober when you give consent otherwise you may make a decision you regret.
Then before you take your date home assuming your date is male tell him that you are going back to your place. Do not go back to his place, you don’t want to have sex in an unfamiliar place and you don’t know what or who will be present.
Before going home get the guy’s number. Make sure you know his name and text those details to a trusted friend. If possible text his address to such a friend as well. That way if something happens the police can chase up.
Go home in a taxi of your choice. It goes without saying that if you get a taxi home before getting in get a photograph of the license plate and text it to a trusted friend. Please be courteous to the taxi driver and make a deal by saying “I’ll pay you up front if you let me take a photo of the license plate.” A good taxi driver will not object. As per previous articles do not use an UBER taxi and only get into a taxi which has CCTV.
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When you get home you insist that your date has a shower. Let’s assume your date is male. Let me be blunt. The public washrooms and male genitalia make a very unhygienic combination. If he refuses to have a shower then show him the door. To be blunt do you really want to put your mouth around a less than hygienic man’s bits?
The best way to to do this is to start your one night stand with a shower between the two of you. That way you know he’s clean. That said if you notice anything down below that makes you feel uneasy call it quits there and send him home.
If possible whilst he is having his shower you look in his pockets. I advise taking a photo of his driving license just in case.
Whilst he is in the shower you get your box of condoms out and ready. Again if he refuses to use a condom you show him the door. Always tell him to withdraw himself before orgasm- even if he does use a condom. This will go a long way to avoiding unwanted infections and unwanted pregnancies.
Then you get it on. If at any time you feel unsafe show him the door. Don’t be surprised if he uses his phone to make a recording of you giving consent. I have advised men to do this to avoid allegations of rape.
However before he goes home ensure that the number you have called him on works.
Doing the above will go a long way to ensure that your night of passion is safe.
A case study of someone who didn’t follow my advice
Sometime ago a young lady who lived with me pulled a guy at a club. I suggested she brought him back to our place. I didn’t have a problem. However she insisted she went back to his place.
About 90 minutes later I got an urgent call. She had locked herself in his bathroom. He had two of his friends there and they wanted to take it in turns to have sex with her and they wanted to practice strangulation sex. I asked where she was and she didn’t know. Luckily in the bathroom bin there was a utility bill with his details on. I asked her where she was and I said I’d be there in a few minutes.
I rushed down there.
I broke a window to get in and I took a baseball bat with me.
Now the three guys were upset at what I did and I gave them a thumping. I am mindful that I did break an arm and I did enter unlawfully. My female friend came down and I got her home and to safety.
However to this day no criminal action has followed.
Sex is natural and we all need and love it. However it must always be safe. Please follow my advice.