I write this article during the week of the anniversary that I lost my first wife (1.)
It reminded me of the day I caught my kid sister kissing a girl and the Katy Perry Song I kissed a girl (2.)
One day I was visiting my kid sister’s family socially. As I walked down the path I heard a noise around the back and I went to look.
I saw my little cousin- who I love like my own sister- kissing a girl. I didn’t think anything of it. I went around the front of the house to knock on the door. Suddenly I heard my cousin running towards me like the clappers. Then as she started to talk to me she couldn’t talk straight. I thought she was hyperventilating! I told her to calm down.
She said her parents weren’t in and then she pleaded with me not to tell her parents that she was kissing a girl. She was about to get on her knees to beg and I stopped her.
“Why would I tell your parents?” I asked.
“I thought that’s why you were ringing the bell.” She replied.
“No, it was just a social call.” I said.
“Aren’t you going to tell my parents?” She said.
“No, not at all.”
“What’s your price?”
Now she looked shocked.
“Nothing???” She said in bewilderment.
“Nothing at all.”
“What are you planning? I am getting paranoid.”
“Nothing at all,” I replied “I have always known you like girls. I’ve seen the way you look at girls. I am very aware that at school sports you are the first one in the girls' showers and the last one out. I was just waiting for the day for you to tell me in your own time. I’ve known before you did. I am very aware of your stash of porn mags you have hidden.”
Although she has brown skin like me- she did the equivalent of going white!
I then hugged her.
“You are the most precious person in the world to me. If you want to have a girlfriend that’s fine by me. I just want you to be happy. Anytime you want to see your girlfriend you let me know and I’ll cover for you. If you want to spend the night with a girl just let me know and I’ll either arrange a hotel or you can stay over at mine. I just want you to be safe if you have sex and if you do have sex you practice safe sex.”
“We are both of Hindu background and arranged marriages are common in our community. If and when you get married I will not let your parents force you into marrying anyone you don’t want to. You just get together with someone you love and I will arrange that marriage even if it’s to a woman. I will tell your parents that I hold the Rakhi band. I and I alone will arrange your marriage. All I ask is that you let me walk you down the aisle if your parents don’t come!”
She then burst into tears saying I was the best big brother she could ask for.
I then reminded her of good manners and told her to introduce me to her girlfriend. I scolded her for running up to me alone when she should have come up to me with her girlfriend. I very firmly told her “Go and get your girlfriend. Walk her to me holding hands and introduce her to me saying “This is my girlfriend.”
I then decided to take them to dinner!
Over dinner, she said, “How come you are so understanding?”
I told her the story of my beloved childhood sweetheart (1). I told her that if I didn’t help her then I have learned nothing. I told her that the first time we slept together we used fake IDs and hired a room in a hotel- a pretence we kept for two years. I told her of the enormous lengths we went to in order to keep our love secret.
That girl was her first girlfriend. It was my pleasure to cover for my little kid sister. It broke my heart that her girlfriend’s family were not so open-minded as me.
Several years later my cousin later decided she was into men and women- she’s now very openly bisexual. She is super faithful to her husband but every so often she goes with a woman with his full knowledge. He’s fine about it- not like some men I can think of (3.) See the video below.
The secret my Aunt and I kept all those years.
When she came out as being bisexual her mother was there. Then her mother revealed a little secret that my Aunt and I kept. When my kid sister was a teenager my Aunt said “I think she is into girls, will you cover for her but make out I don’t know? Please don’t tell your uncle- he is not so understanding.”
My reply was “So you are not the only one who suspects? I have always known and it will be my pleasure for my kid sister. Let’s keep this our little secret until the time is right. If it’s OK with you I’ll keep a stash of porn mags where I know she’ll find them but if they are found I’ll say they are mine.”
We agreed and we kept it our secret!
We revealed it on the day she came out to us-needless to say they both cried.
When she got married her mother came but her father didn’t. I had the great honour of giving her away at her marriage. By that time her parents had got divorced. He was thumping his wife like mad and eventually she filed for divorce.
What you can do
If you suspect your child is lesbian, gay or bisexual or transgendered then please let your darling child express himself or herself. Let your precious angel be all he or she can be- irrespective of sexuality. Please be like the father in (5). The article says as follows.
A simple gesture of unconditional love from a dad to his gay son has taken the internet by storm.
The Michigan high-school student, known only as Nate, had clearly been concerned about revealing his sexuality to his parents.
But his coming out conversation was preempted by his father, who wrote a tender note explaining that he had known his son was gay for years and simply didn’t care.
‘I overheard your phone conversation with Mike last night about your plans to come out to me,’ the letter begins.
‘The only thing I need you to plan is to bring home OJ and bread after class. We are out, like you now. I’ve known you were gay since you were six, I’ve loved you since you were born.’
The touching note is signed ‘Dad’ and the father even ends with a touch of humor: ‘Your mom and I think you and Mike make a cute couple.’
Don’t be like the father who killed his son for being gay (6.)
As a medical student and junior doctor, I saw many overdoses and suicides and a very disproportionate number of them were due to issues of sexuality. Your potential failure to accept your little angel could lead to death. Do you want that?
Our children should express themselves and I want our children to shine like a Firework like Katy Perry — please let them.
1. The story of how I lost my first wife. https://medium.com/@james_4450/the-story-of-my-first-wife-f19f5b50b20
2. I kissed a girl Katy Perry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAp9BKosZXs
3. He caught his girlfriend in bed with a woman- his reaction is not what you’d expect https://medium.com/@james_4450/he-caught-his-girlfriend-in-bed-with-a-woman-his-reaction-is-not-what-youd-expect-c68b45aebc1b
4. The plight of bisexual women https://medium.com/@james_4450/the-plight-of-bisexual-women-7027e007669f
5. ‘I’ve known you were gay since you were six, I’ve loved you since you were born’: Dad’s touching letter accepting gay son goes viral (Daily Mail.) https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2294281/Dads-touching-letter-accepting-gay-son-goes-viral.html
6. Nevada Father Murdered Son for Being Gay, Former Foster Mom Claims Nevada Father Murdered Son for Being Gay, Former Foster Mom Claims https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/nevada-father-murdered-son-being-gay-former-foster-mom-claims-n817906
7. Firework-Katy Perry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw