Please note this is the HINDU Swastika and not the Nazi Swastika

The stupidity of the Batley Grammar School protests

James Bond
3 min readMar 28, 2021

I am asking all those people who are protesting outside Batley Grammar School over the cartoon to go home.

They’ve made their point. I am of Indian Hindu background and I am asking them all to turn around and go home.

I do freelance nightclub security- commonly at gay bars- and I would like to remind those people the huge damage they are doing their community.

Last year there were the protests outside schools in the midlands over the teaching of gay relationships. It was their fellow followers of Islam who suffered. Many of our customers refused to get into taxis which had drivers of Pakistani heritage. In doing so they lost a lot of money.

There are takeaways around the clubs I normally work out which take in a few thousand pounds over the the weekend. During those protests they were lucky to cover the wage bill. They had to lay off staff.

I have good friends of Islamic background who are very decent hard working law abiding people and they have found it harder to get customers due to those protests. They too have lost money. I have one contractor called Mohammed who does the odd bit of work for me. Whenever he gives me an invoice he undercharges me and I feel embarrassed to pay him so little. I pay him what he’s worth and I tell him to take the money.

Like me he’s a vegetarian and when we have lunch all he does is put his hands over his food and says Bismillah — thanks to God. Had we not been in lockdown he’d be celebrating Holi with us this weekend. When its Eid he invites me to come along and we have a vegetarian meal.

These people should think what they are doing. That poor teacher was teaching on blasphemy and is now under police protection. If you tell me an Indian joke the worst you’ll get from me is a handshake as we have a laugh over a drink at the local pub.

Here are mine.

Why must they ban India from playing in the World Cup?

Every time they get a corner they’ll open a shop!

What does a family of Indians do when it’s cold?

They sit round a candle.

What do they do when it’s really cold?

Light it!

What is the capital of the UK?


What is the capital of France?


What is the capital of India?


What is the capital of Pakistan?


What do you call an Indian who doesn’t own a corner shop, isn’t an engineer, not a doctor, dentist, accountant or lawyer?

A liar!

Now look at how the Bee Gees reacted when Kenny Everett took the mickey out of them.

Now see how the Bee Gees reacted. Their reaction is priceless!

Check out the Handhi Bendi Gandi.

For those who think White Christmas is racist

My favourite- the Patel rap- taking the mickey out of Indian corner shop owners.

Being a fitness trainer I just love the white woman’s workout

So to those who are offended please get a sense of humour and remember you are doing fellow followers of your faith a lot of financial harm.


  1. The Do It Yourself Bee Gees Kit Kenny Everett
  2. Bee Gees — This is Your Life — Pt. 3
  3. Handhi Bendhi Gandhi — from Three Of A Kind (1983)
  4. The Drifters White Christmas
  5. Bali’s Patel Rap — the original Patel Rap 1991–1992
  6. The White Woman’s workout