One of the stupidest letters I have ever received.
I was once an associate for a company called the Utility warehouse. Let me tel you of one of the stupidest letters they ever sent out.
On 3 October 2018 the Utiity warehouse sent me a lawyer’s letter threatening to take me to court for an unpaid bill. I wrote back to them with the email below.
You can see why they never pursued it.
My email of response
Without prejudice save as to costs.
Moriarty law reference 361057
Client Utility warehouse limited.
Client account number 4075164
Customer James Bond
Thank you for your letter of 3rd October 2018 in response to a debt of £550.23 which I allegedly owe the Utility warehouse.
I suggest you check your documentation. You will see as of 31 December 2013 my account was in credit (see below.). Soon after this the account was terminated and moved to Momentis energy who headhunted me after the UWDC terminated my distributorship in a neo-nazi fashion. (D25980)
You will, of course, note that you cannot move an energy account from one supplier to the next unless the account is cleared of arrears. The UWDC did threaten court proceedings at the time and if you check your records you will see that I paid the debt and the action was withdrawn. At the time I was signed off with stress and in court, I will reveal that with appropriate medical evidence. Your clients action at the time did not help.
Should you pursue your action against me I will have no choice but to do the following.
I will reveal how the UWDC performed a huge breach of the data protection act in November 2012. You will see below that they emailed out some 2400 team leaders. Instead of putting the email addresses in the blind copy box they put them in the cc box. In court, this would come out on the public record. The judge would no doubt refer the matter to the Information Commissioner who would then have to take severe action against the UWDC. Imagine the damage I could do with the court transcript?
I would also reveal how they terminated my distributorship. A letting agent got hold of my UWDC business card and got a bunch of students to sign up without paying the deposit (an idea I wholly support.) They defaulted, moved away as students do and a huge debt accumulated. I only found out that my distributorship was cancelled the day I was signing up a new distributorship. I went to my website which wasn’t there. I phoned up the company who told me that my distributorship had been terminated. I never got a letter or any form of notification. Again this would come out in the public record and no doubt this would do considerable harm to the UWDC’s attempts to recruit more distributors. All I would need to do in such circumstance is show the court transcript to all and sundry. I was never given a chance to explain myself. That was the case in Nazi Germany.
I would reveal that you are taking me to court for an account that is in credit that will cause you considerable embarrassment (see below), especially since I will make an order for discovery at the directions hearing to force you to reveal that your client has in its material possession documentation that shows my account is in credit. You would no doubt try to lie to the court showing you don’t have such documentation and I would go and produce it. This is a perversion of the course of justice for which the judge would no doubt refer you to the Crown Prosecution Service. The CPS takes a referral from a judge very seriously.
I would tell the court that I have been in touch with a former UWDC trainer who has told me of the slowing of the growth of the UWDC. It speaks volumes that the sign-up fee has gone down from £100 to some £10.
I will tell the court that the UWDC claimed to have top quality customer service but had a 0844 number to dial (costing some 10–15p per minute to dial.) You could not choose a date to pay. Worse still customer services was not open at evenings and weekends.
I will also reveal how at one masterclass the great (name removed) agreed to take me under his wing and help me get to National Marketing Director.He said I had all the attributes because at the masterclass I answered all his questions. He was very impressed at how I told the audience the way of how to use the cashback card to get cashback on your council tax.
I will also tell the court that I brought (name removed) to speak 4 times and at the 4th occasion hindered the event.
I would also counter-claim against your client for the loss of earnings of some £100 per month due to the neo-nazi way my distributorship was cancelled.
I would refer you to the case of Dunnett v Railtrack Plc (Costs)  EWCA Civ 303 (22 February 2002) I have offered a low-cost solution and as such if I lose you cannot claim costs.
You will, of course, note that I am no ordinary litigant. I promise you here and now I will tear you apart in court and cause you considerable embarrassment.
I look forward to your reply within 14 days of this email.
From: memberservices <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: Tue, 31 Dec 2013 at 09:55
Subject: RE: Please confirm that business and domestic payments have been received
To: James Bond <email@example.com>
Dear Mr Bond
Thank you for your email.
I tried to call you today but you could not be reached on (number removed) or the other two- (number removed) or (number removed)which are the number we have for contact on the residential account.
I can confirm that both payments have been received.
Curiously however, you appear to have a small credit on each account account:
6329941 — £1.51
4075164 — £1.57
I think that has been accrued from paying perhaps a little over the amount owed on one occasion. Subtract these amounts from the next payment you make to us for each account to balance things out.
I trust that this clarifies the situation for you.
Should you require any further assistance, please don’t hesitate to respond to this email, or call our Customer Services team on 0844 815 7777.
Ms. T. Goldstone
Email : firstname.lastname@example.org
Phone : 0800 781 7777
Fax : 0800 781 0110
The Utility Warehouse Network HQ 333 Edgware Road London NW9 6TD
I never got one. Why?
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