World coming out day 2020
Today is world coming out day.
Let me tell you a few things.
· What happened when I caught my kid sister kissing a girl.
· A very sad story that had a very happy ending and
· A group of women my heart cries for.
I do security at a gay club and my ladies self defence class is full of this group of women.
The story of my catching my kid sister kissing a girl reminds me of the story of my first wife (1) and the Katy Perry Song I kissed a girl (2.)
One day I was visiting my kid sister’s family socially. As I walked down the path I heard a noise around the back and I went to look.
I saw my little cousin- who I love like my own sister- kissing a girl. I didn’t think anything of it. I went around the front of the house to knock on the door. Suddenly I heard my cousin running towards me like the clappers. Then as she started to talk to me she couldn’t talk straight. I thought she was hyperventilating! I told her to calm down.
She said her parents weren’t in and then she pleaded with me not to tell her parents that she was kissing a girl. She was about to get on her knees to beg and I stopped her.
“Why would I tell your parents?” I asked.
“I thought that’s why you were ringing the bell.” She replied.
“No, it was just a social call.” I said.
“Aren’t you going to tell my parents?” She said.
“No, not at all.”
“What’s your price?”
“Nothing.”
Now she looked shocked.
“Nothing???” She said in bewilderment.
“Nothing at all.”
“What are you planning? I am getting paranoid.”
“Nothing at all,” I replied “I have always known you like girls. I’ve seen the way you look at girls. I am very aware that at school sports you are the first one in the girls’ showers and the last one out. I was just waiting for the day for you to tell me in your own time. I’ve known before you did. I am very aware of your stash of porn mags you have hidden.”
Although she has brown skin like me- she did the equivalent of going white!
I then hugged her.
“You are the most precious person in the world to me. If you want to have a girlfriend that’s fine by me. I just want you to be happy. Anytime you want to see your girlfriend you let me know and I’ll cover for you. If you want to spend the night with a girl just let me know and I’ll either arrange a hotel or you can stay over at mine. I just want you to be safe if you have sex and if you do have sex, you practice safe sex.”
“We are both of Hindu background and arranged marriages are common in our community. If and when you get married I will not let your parents force you into marrying anyone you don’t want to. You just get together with someone you love and I will arrange that marriage even if it’s to a woman. I will tell your parents that I hold the Rakhi band. I and I alone will arrange your marriage. All I ask is that you let me walk you down the aisle if your parents don’t come!”
She then burst into tears saying I was the best big brother she could ask for.
I then reminded her of good manners and told her to introduce me to her girlfriend. I scolded her for running up to me alone when she should have come up to me with her girlfriend. I very firmly told her “Go and get your girlfriend. Walk her to me holding hands and introduce her to me saying “This is my girlfriend.”
I then decided to take them to dinner!
Over dinner, she said, “How come you are so understanding?”
I told her the story of my beloved childhood sweetheart (1). I told her that if I didn’t help her then I have learned nothing. I told her that the first time we slept together we used fake IDs and hired a room in a hotel- a pretence we kept for two years. I told her of the enormous lengths we went to in order to keep our love secret.
That girl was her first girlfriend. It was my pleasure to cover for my little kid sister. It broke my heart that her girlfriend’s family were not so open-minded as me.
The secret my Aunt and I kept all those years.
When she came out as being bisexual her mother was there. Then her mother revealed a little secret that my Aunt and I kept. When my kid sister was a teenager my Aunt said “I think she is into girls, will you cover for her but make out I don’t know? Please don’t tell your uncle- he is not so understanding.”
My reply was “So you are not the only one who suspects? I have always known and it will be my pleasure for my kid sister. Let’s keep this our little secret until the time is right. If it’s OK with you I’ll keep a stash of porn mags where I know she’ll find them but if they are found I’ll say they are mine.”
We agreed and we kept it our secret!
We revealed it on the day she came out to us-needless to say they both cried.
When she got married her mother came but her father didn’t. I had the great honour of giving her away at her marriage. By that time her parents had got divorced. He was thumping his wife like mad and eventually she filed for divorce.
A very tragic case that had a very happy ending
There is one young lady who is very dear to me. One day I went to visit I heard screams as I entered. Asian people are very complacent with security. I rushed to the source of the noise. I found a young woman being kicked black and blue by her husband as she lay on her daughter trying to protect her.
It’s not a good thing to do when I am around! I threw this man across the room and gave him the beating of his life. I told him that if he ever did that again I would kill him.
On showing her mother this video — she broke down and her knees gave way.
A few years later the young lady showed a video to her mother of two women getting married. The mother broke down in tears. Her knees gave way. The young daughter asked what happened. It came out.
The mother revealed that she knew from the age of 13 she was into girls and not men. On finding out her parents forced her to marry a man who was 20 years older than her to keep the family honour.
She said that every time she had sex with him she felt as if she was being raped. This man used to beat her all the time. He was very verbally abusive. He was very toxic. Nothing was good enough. He didn’t take seconds to start criticising the slightest imperfection. He always dug up the past. He would make his wife and daughter feel insignificant and put them down. He was a control freak. He never cared about their feelings. He didn’t understand the word “no”. He liked to see them suffer. Everything was all about how he thinks, wants and feels.
The young daughter said it was time for divorce. The young lady and her mother went on holiday. The daughter fixed her up with someone and they hit it off.
A few weeks later the father had to go to India on business and to find a husband for his daughter- bearing in mind she’d been with her current boyfriend for 6 years! When he came back he found his wife had moved out. I had the great pleasure of serving a restraining order against him and divorce papers. He took a swipe at me but that was a bad move.
The restraining order was a temporary one pending divorce.
Now the restraining order has been made permanent. The divorce has gone through. She didn’t take anything. She just wanted out. He can’t contact his wife or daughter.
A group of women my heart cries for.
Several years later my cousin later realised she was into men and women- she’s now very openly bisexual. She is super faithful to her husband but every so often she goes with a woman with his full knowledge. He’s fine about it- not like some men I can think of (3.) See the video below.
Its every man’s dream. To go to bed with two women.
Not so! This video is a reaction I have seen more times than I care to count.
The mainstay of my training is boxing and the overwhelming majority of my clients are women. To be honest, if you gave me a choice between training guys and training women, I’d train women all day long.
I always ask why they want to learn what I teach. Some of my bond girls tell me upfront. However, for some it takes a few weeks or even months for them to tell me. I always get suspicious when i train a lady who has been single for a while. I am not homophobic. I have friends who are heterosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual and I even have an acquaintance who calls himself trisexual- he’ll try anything!
However, when I was a junior doctor I used to see a *LOT* of domestic violence and this is something I used to see all the time.
Ms. Z
Ms. Z and i chatted online for a while. We spoke on the phone and then a few days later she told me that she was on a coach on her way up to visit me- I hadn’t invited her but hey I thought why not?
When she turned up I invited her in. Anyway I arranged a meal for her and then we decided to go out. As she was getting ready I noticed some bruises on her. She came out to me- she admitted to me that her boyfriend had caught her in bed with a woman, he threw the other woman out and then beat her up.
I asked why she popped up to see me- she said it was because she had to escape him. She’d come out of hospital whilst her boyfriend was at work. She went home and collected a few belongings and then headed out of town- hundreds of miles away from where her boyfriend would not know where she was.
Luckily since she had been to the hospital all the injuries were medically documented. I encouraged her to press charges against her ex-boyfriend.
It's now 10 years later she has a normal life but to this day struggles to find a loving boyfriend
Ms. Y
This lady was a friend of mine at university. She never had boyfriends who lasted for long-at most 2–3 weeks. After university, all her friends were on the path to marriage. Apart from her. She moved in with me during her final year at university. She is as sweet as apple pie with honey and sugar on top. However, she can never maintain a relationship with a man for more than a month. There is only one reason. She loves women too.
Ms X
This lady is a friend of Ms Y. She moved in at the same time as Ms Y.
Like the other ladies in this newsletter, she could never find a boyfriend. I knew she knew that I knew but nobody said anything. Until one fateful day.
If my housemates ever go for a night on the town I always check on them the following morning. There is a reason. They say that meningitis is more common among students. The theory is that students live in halls of residence and so by living in close proximity the bacteria can easily pass.
That is no doubt true. However, it doesn’t help when people think that they are just drunk or have a hangover!
In this case, I checked on her and when I did I found her in bed with another woman. I didn’t bat an eyelid. During breakfast, the other lady told us all she was married but her husband was been away for the weekend and she wanted to spend the night with a lady.
I find that truly saddening. I also find it heartbreaking that Ms X cannot find a boyfriend.
Ms W
This lady had been single for ages. She met a new boyfriend who said they could do anything she wanted for her birthday. She was in bed with him, Blindfolded him. Went downstairs let a female lover in. She stripped her friend down.
She took her female friend to her boyfriend who got it on with him and took the blindfold off.
He hit her so hard she ended up in the hospital.
Her girlfriend was a police officer who arrested him and called the police. He was charged with grievous bodily harm. She openly says Christmas is the worst time of year to be single. Then in January, nobody’s got any money so finding someone is hard and then there is Valentine’s Day and being single on Valentine’s Day sucks. If you are a bisexual girl that’s the only sucking you are going to get on 14th February.
Ms V
This lady was again a housemate of mine.
She’d been single for quite a while, like the other ladies she was also into women. Anyway, they had dinner and they went to her room to watch a DVD. Then within minutes, I heard a scream and she called to me for help. I rushed to her room and then opened the door.
Her bloke had hit her, knocked her to the ground and was about to kick her. That was a bad move. I restrained him, opened the window and threw him out. I knew what had happened. She’d come out to him.
This lady luckily is now engaged to be married and her boyfriend knows. However unlike the overwhelming majority of men he’s fine about it. She is one of the lucky ones.
Ms U
This lady was again a housemate of mine.
This lady was eternally single. No relationship ever lasted more than a week. I knew why every so often she’d go to a gay bar and bring a lady home. I remember once consoling her when her mother called her a cheap whore on finding out how many lads she was going through.
Some years later she’s now married. When I caught up with her I asked: “Does he know?” She says “No and it’s a secret that will stay with me forever. Although I love him, it’s a part of me he’ll never know about.”
What you can do
If you suspect your child is lesbian, gay or bisexual or transgendered then please let your darling child express himself or herself. Let your precious angel be all he or she can be- irrespective of sexuality. Please be like the father in (5). The article says as follows.
A simple gesture of unconditional love from a dad to his gay son has taken the internet by storm.
The Michigan high-school student, known only as Nate, had clearly been concerned about revealing his sexuality to his parents.
But his coming out conversation was preempted by his father, who wrote a tender note explaining that he had known his son was gay for years and simply didn’t care.
‘I overheard your phone conversation with Mike last night about your plans to come out to me,’ the letter begins.
‘The only thing I need you to plan is to bring home OJ and bread after class. We are out, like you now. I’ve known you were gay since you were six, I’ve loved you since you were born.’
The touching note is signed ‘Dad’ and the father even ends with a touch of humor: ‘Your mom and I think you and Mike make a cute couple.’
Don’t be like the father who killed his son for being gay (6.)
Sign this parliamentary petition if you live in the UK.
https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/300976https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/300976
Make LGBT conversion therapy illegal in the UK
I would like the Government to:
• make running conversion therapy in the UK a criminal offence
• forcing people to attend said conversion therapies a criminal offence
• sending people abroad in order to try to convert them a criminal offence
• protect individuals from conversion therapy
Despite all major counselling and psychotherapy bodies in the UK, including the NHS, condemning LGBT conversion therapy, it is still legal and LGBT individuals in the UK are still exposed to this psychological and emotional abuse to this day. The very thought of this sickens me, and I would like to see it stopped one day.
We are awaiting a date for parliamentary debate.
Conclusion
As a medical student and junior doctor, I saw many overdoses and suicides and a very disproportionate number of them were due to issues of sexuality. Your potential failure to accept your little angel could lead to death. Do you want that?
Our children should express themselves and I want our children to shine like a Firework like Katy Perry — please let them.
Resources
How to find Mr. Right-a guide for bisexual women https://www.e-junkie.com/i/100wt?card
Bibliography
1. The story of how I lost my first wife. https://medium.com/@james_4450/the-story-of-my-first-wife-f19f5b50b20
2. I kissed a girl Katy Perry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAp9BKosZXs
3. He caught his girlfriend in bed with a woman- his reaction is not what you’d expect https://medium.com/@james_4450/he-caught-his-girlfriend-in-bed-with-a-woman-his-reaction-is-not-what-youd-expect-c68b45aebc1b
4. The plight of bisexual women https://medium.com/@james_4450/the-plight-of-bisexual-women-7027e007669f
5. ‘I’ve known you were gay since you were six, I’ve loved you since you were born’: Dad’s touching letter accepting gay son goes viral (Daily Mail.) https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2294281/Dads-touching-letter-accepting-gay-son-goes-viral.html
6. Nevada Father Murdered Son for Being Gay, Former Foster Mom Claims Nevada Father Murdered Son for Being Gay, Former Foster Mom Claims https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/nevada-father-murdered-son-being-gay-former-foster-mom-claims-n817906
7. Firework-Katy Perry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw
